Joined: 12 May 2008 Location: Toledo, OH, Clan: >AC<
Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2010 8:20 am Post subject: Don't blink or you'll miss it
Welp! I'm typically not a fan of these sort of threads but I suppose it's for the sake of saying goodbye and getting a few things off my chest before I go, so I don't feel like I regret anything. So here we go...
As many of you know, I'm going to have another child. I had my first son back in 2008 and all-but disappeared for a year and figured that was the end of my journey in ZDaemon. Around early-mid 2010, I started playing more DooM again out of boredom at night because I work second shift and my wife works first. I've never really been the type to go to sleep at 11pm, even when I worked first shift jobs so I mostly found myself with nothing to do until I went to sleep. After a few months of playing I was ready to set it down again until LB convinced me to come back and give the IDL one more shot. I did. Quite frankly, one of the best doom decisions I've ever made. I had a blast.
I'm not sure what exactly motivated me to create this thread. On one hand, I feel like sharing my ZDaemon past would be a great tribute to what I've gotten out of a wonderful game and the great friends I've made along the way. On the other, there are many people I'll probably never speak to again and I suppose this is my last chance to tell them thank you for all the memories and good-bye.
I started playing this game in 2004 roughly as a noob and never thought it'd go this far. In 2005, I started to become really good with the assistance of ADOG and Lapse, two guys I haven't seen since at least 2007. After some time, I met Swiftie/Pissed and he coaxed me to try and join SIN. After playing tons of games with and getting rocked in d5m7 constantly, I finally had begun to improve, especially after I got my first g5! Soon after, I became a force on the field and where ever I went, I left tons of marine corpses behind me.
I can't say this will ever do anything for me in real life worth any value but this game has taken me to Brampton/Toronto, Ontario, Canada and Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada for LAN events. Quite frankly those are some of my fondest moments ever aside from my wife and I meeting, getting married and witnessing my son being born. I also took 2nd place in Brampton and 1st place in Halifax so I did accomplish a few things on the field!
Now, there are a few things I'd like to get off my chest because some of this stuff has been bugging me since 2006.
As for the Ralphis/IDL demands I made in the Yo Yo thread. After meeting Ralphis in late 2006, I really learned to like the guy. He was so enthusiastic about this game and went above and beyond to organize events and leagues, which turned out to be pretty ok from what I see. Some of it was more bias because I respected the guy so much and would have loved to see him allowed back to help promote things in this community to make the game thrive. Would it fix current problems? Probably not. Would he be the answer to all ZDaemon misfortunes? No. I figured that he could do more good for the community than bad and if he was allowed back, the IDL would go public. I felt like that was a great step. The ony thing though that I failed to consider before I made the thread was what Kilgore and the staff would have thought about the demand. The timing was awful, Kilgore was on vacation and couldn't respond right away. Plus, after hearing both sides of the story, I wasn't sure of what was true or not but could definitely see why he is and will remain banned, regardless of what is and isn't true. I pushed buttons I shouldn't have and probably would have been best to address it in PM with Kilgore and other staff members. I still think it can work but I don't think the right idea is to push the staff for it in some sort of self-created campaign (one in which Ralphis did not start, I can assure you of that at least). So yeah, I do apologize for opening such a sensitive subject so poorly and being as mean-spirited as I was in some of those posts. In the end, I wanted to see both sides come together but I've learned it's not my place to push, demand or try and enforce that. It's something that needs to be done mutually and whether or not it happens isn't my concern and should never have been. So I apologize for that.
As far as the IDL goes. I'll say this: earlier tonight my team (EBL - whiteboy, xenaero, dewww and myself) lost to BSK in the finals (MasterBowl8). It wasn't a great match but it gave me another chance to see why DooM and what it has to offer is so great. If there was ever a way for ZDaemon and IDL to co-exist publicly, I would encourage it fully because this is something that everyone in the community would love to share and be a part of. I can't express in words how much fun I had this season, despite starting out on a poor team and being a part of some Xen-drama (love yah, nick!). This was one thing I wanted to push for a lot before I go because I have this vision of the staff and IDL Staff being in the same server watching these intense games and sharing the love for the game together rather than separate. I don't know if it will happen or if it does, how it'd be arranged but it's just something I'd like to express before I'm gone for good. So I did.
There are so many names I can remember throughout these last 6 years and though I'm not fond of every last one, I have come to be on good terms with a lot of people I once despised with the feelings being mutual. Quite frankly, I'm glad I did because I'm not sure I could have met better people (especially whiteboy, the guy can be hilarious with some of his dumbass shit but he's a cool dude, man). It's just insane to think of how many people I've come across here, man.
I also want to take some time to thank the staff. Raider, Kilgore, Samiam, AF-Domains, Englander, Robbbbb, HumanBones, Cybershark, Romeo, enVision, gollum, Poignant and many more:
I know I've been on good and bad terms with a lot of you. Though I was usually the instigator, you were willing to still meet me halfway with anything and give me the benefit of the doubt when you probably shouldn't have. I appreciate everything you guys have done for me and I hope that at the end of the day, you appreciate the passion I have for this game. Though I might not express it the best sometimes, I assure you it's there and I simply want to see the community thrive. So if any of you feel like we're still on "bad terms," I apologize for whatever it is and wish you the best of luck in the future with everything. No hard feelings here.
There are also a bunch of people I'd like to personally thank and give a shout-out to. Some of them might be like "wtf we're on good terms now" and might have a good reason to react that way. If you do, know this, I still thank you for giving me the full-ZDaemon experience for the good and the bad! So here we go:
I know this is a pretty long post but I just want to express to all of you how grateful I am to have had the opportunity to meet you and play alongside and against you on the field. It's been an amazing run and tonight, like all other good things, it must come to an end. I love all of you in a special, non-homosexual way and wish every last one of you the best of luck. Maybe I'll drop by one day and say "HI FAGGOTS!" In the end, I just hope you'll all remember me for being a blast to be around and are willing to look past some of my "wtf are you doing hatred lmao" moments! Either way, I'll take it all in stride and enjoy and embrace my time here rather than regret anything.
But, the last thing I need to say before I go because this is something I've needed to get off my chest for 5 years. The truth is, I'm not a legit player and never have been. I've been using this aimbot + wallhack specifically designed for me by someone who will remain anonymous. I will not name this person but I will say it was developed for just me and the staff has never seen it or know how to detect it. I'm going to go public with it and allow the staff to DL it and ban this aimbot + wallhack and anyone who is stupid enough to download it and use it because I feel like it's time I finally live up to what I've done. Here it is:
My god the people who ''LEAVE'' a game are stupid. What is up with you guys? I have thought millions of times, alright I have had it with Doom. Exactly what I thought about Halo, Gears of War or any games. Sometimes you just do something else.
And when I feel like it I play again. You guys should too, this is too much drama. I am also fed up sometimes with PEOPLE, but I do not go to the moon and sit with a donut there do I... that would be something :O
If I eat french fries everyday, I would not be fed up with it. But when I eat pizza everyday, then I will, so I eat something else, maybe I stick with the burger sometime.
My god the people who ''LEAVE'' a game are stupid. What is up with you guys? I have thought millions of times, alright I have had it with Doom. Exactly what I thought about Halo, Gears of War or any games. Sometimes you just do something else.
And when I feel like it I play again. You guys should too, this is too much drama. I am also fed up sometimes with PEOPLE, but I do not go to the moon and sit with a donut there do I... that would be something :O
If I eat french fries everyday, I would not be fed up with it. But when I eat pizza everyday, then I will, so I eat something else, maybe I stick with the burger sometime.
Ow please man, do not leave, it is stupid.
I do wish you succes with your life.
Shut the hell up kid, you have no idea what it's like to start up a family. Your idea of a family is building one up in the sims and going from there. It takes alot of time out of a man, lots of time and dedication that he wouldn't have to keep at a competitive level in doom. Like seriously, how much did your chocolate eating belgium ass read before you came to the conclusion that he's leaving because he's "FED" up with people?
Whatever man. I did not said anything about family or kids. And since your going all soccerdad over me, you did not understand anything what I meant.
Sorry if you got the wrong impression MAN. Did I say having a family isn't a reason? And I did not say he was fed up with people, I said he was fed up with Doom. Fed up more like, no time and less enjoyment of the game. This can happen, and yeah sure family takes time, and no you do not need to leave your kid at your grandma so you can play Doom, it was not really personal, more in general.
I don't like people leaving this game, you can always be around like once a week or a month, just when you have the time. But do not go the extreme like, alright I will not come online forever! Just look where the ship goes.
So my point of leaving a game is not in combination with ''having a family''.
All that shit sounds kinda lame to say about a video game, but its extremely true. I can completely understand why people feel the need to say goodbye to this community. (Although I do expect to see you again in a few years, Hatred) DooM really does suck the fun out of every other game on the market. I don't care how realistic a shooter is, how awesome the graphics are how awesome a certain game is, it still can't equate to the fun factor that this game has. Not to mention easy-to-use mapping tools, a tight-knit community and a certain level of speed and action that other shooters just have not matched.
But, I know that newborn + toddler + work + wife + stuff-that-needs-to-get-done-around-the-house =/= free time. Family always comes first. I'm always ditching games half way through because my 16-month-old woke up from his nap or let out a cry because he wanted me to give him his bear that fell out of his crib. I would have to say the only thing more awesome than blowing someones head off with an SSG swingshot is getting a hug from your son or seeing his face light up as soon as you walk in the door or hearing him repeat your name over and over again because its one of the only words he knows.
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