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When I remember Toke

 
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niv
Unstoppable!


Joined: 07 May 2005
Location: Bay Area, California

PostPosted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 1:40 pm    Post subject: When I remember Toke Reply with quote

When I remember Toke, I remember Deathmatch on Zdoom 1.26 Map01.
I remember his personality, his struggle with drugs which, with his strength, he had already started to conquer. Above all, I remember my friend. That's right.. I considered Toke and I to have a true friendship, unbounded by the internet. And last, but most certainly not least I remember the way he was (and all of you were) there for Dave and I when Rachel passed away:

http://www.doom2.net/thunder/thread/thunder-thread.html

For those of you who I haven't been the best of friends with on Zdaemon, I sincerely apologize. Life is short, and Zdaemon is a small community. Please forgive me for any time I may have offended any of you -- I truly value my friendships on here and would like as many of them as possible.

I almost had another friend pass away two nights ago. A triple whammy like that would have sent me to the loony bin, for sure. I did all I could to help, including trying to track down his current address via his name + an old, expired cell phone from a different Canadian Province. The Toronto Police were very helpful, but unable to locate him "for sure". Anyway, 4 hours later this person comes online and says "Sorry dude I thought I was dying, I took too much <drug name, drug name, drug name>." Earlier that night he told me that he loved me, his family, etc. I was seriously freaking out.

SO DON'T ANY OF YOU DIE

That's all I have to say, other than the fact that you all mean very much to me, and I miss Rachel, Toke, and thank you all for supporting Dave (Vampy) and me (Niv) when Rachel died.
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_BahdKo_
On a Rampage!


Joined: 05 Jan 2004

PostPosted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 2:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Expanding one train of thought Niv had here..

We've filled our quota on dead doomers for the next 3 years. No further doomers are allowed to die before August, 2009. This includes doomers who may have already entered the hospital or otherwise be terminally ill. Any hospitalized or terminally ill Doomers who may have procrastinated in dying have effectively missed their chance, and will now have to wait until a free slot is open 3 years from now.

doomers who breach this quota and die may be involuntarily respawned.
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[DMG]CryoSabre
Unstoppable!


Joined: 11 Dec 2005
Location: England, South Yorkshire

PostPosted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 2:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What if this turns into something freaky like final destination, those who avoided death have made him angry Twisted Evil

respect to niv for the remembrance thing, its all good
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killingblair
Wicked Sick!


Joined: 28 Sep 2004

PostPosted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 8:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I didn't realize [s]thunder was from West Chester, PA. I'm in West Chester. This hits so close to home. Sad
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deathz0r
Custom Title


Joined: 18 Apr 2002
Location: I ride with the kangaroos

PostPosted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 9:34 pm    Post subject: Re: When I remember Toke Reply with quote

niv wrote:
SO DON'T ANY OF YOU DIE

That's all I have to say, other than the fact that you all mean very much to me,
I've been not dying for 19 years, that's a good sign, no?

But seriously, I appreciate your thoughts. It always sucks whenever someone dies, and one of mum's friends is currently getting treated for what I believe is lung cancer. Unfortunately, death is unavoidable in the long run, but some people don't deserve to die "early".
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Slayer420
God like!


Joined: 01 Apr 2005
Location: Chicago

PostPosted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 10:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I thank you personally for your kind words niv, they are something that everybody here on zdaemon can react emotionally to. Sometimes emotions themselves can be more important then the vitals of life and the remorse, regret, and dispair we go through when friends and family die will make certin that we will never forget them. So please people, take niv's advice and dont do any dying in the near future or you could find yourself perpetually playing entryway in limbo because exit has been disabled. Wink
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Nitus
Unstoppable!


Joined: 05 Feb 2004
Location: Canada

PostPosted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 11:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

One hard lesson I've taken from this is to attend lans when you can - you never know when we might lose someone.

I am definately going to attend next year's LANada, and if there were others than I'd attend those as well. I'm even planning to head overseas in a few years, just to meet some of the people down there.

When I remember Toke I remember his personality; chats we had over the years; the time he posted photos of his girl going down on him; his unfailing ability to transcend the borders of ports, clans, and communities. He could be brash, but he was never an asshole, and he was never mean to newbs or to young people. He was larger-than-life, and I sadly doubt that we'll see his like again.
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tourettes
Guest




PostPosted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 11:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Speaking of lans, are there any in the Chicago area?
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cSc
Dominating!


Joined: 12 Mar 2005
Location: Back from the Dead

PostPosted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 11:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I get what your saying niv (oh, and id like to be informed of LA'louisiana' LANs if there are any =]) cherish what you have before its gone.
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Ganja
Dominating!


Joined: 26 Mar 2003
Location: http://clanchronic.dontexist.com

PostPosted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 4:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I remeber dylan...

too many damn good stories to go into, but since lans came up..

in 04 dylan and me drove down to louisiana to raston, to see our good freind xoap, some of u older player should remeber him. that was one of the best trips of my life, a roadtrip, doom, girls, pot, etc an all around damn good time we lost tokes brand new front clip of his body kit (bumper) half way down there cause i hit a racoon and it just riped off and got stuck under the car, and my computer got trashed cuase i droped it when i was drunk and moving from the doom room to the quake area.

yea good times
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Nsyncfan
On a Rampage!


Joined: 31 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 6:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That post from Toke made my eyes water......Fucken eh life is crazy!!!
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Cybershark
Spamming!


Joined: 05 Jan 2005
Location: off the grid, but still fighting for the users!

PostPosted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 7:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ganja wrote:
my computer got trashed cause i dropped it when i was drunk and moving from the doom room to the quake area.

there's a moral in there somewhere (and it has nothing to do with alcohol consumption) Wink
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cSc
Dominating!


Joined: 12 Mar 2005
Location: Back from the Dead

PostPosted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 1:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nsyncfan wrote:
That post from Toke made my eyes water......Fucken eh life is crazy!!!
Made me cry after the second page.

Ganja wrote:
I remeber dylan...

too many damn good stories to go into, but since lans came up..

in 04 dylan and me drove down to louisiana to raston, to see our good freind xoap, some of u older player should remeber him. that was one of the best trips of my life, a roadtrip, doom, girls, pot, etc an all around damn good time we lost tokes brand new front clip of his body kit (bumper) half way down there cause i hit a racoon and it just riped off and got stuck under the car, and my computer got trashed cuase i droped it when i was drunk and moving from the doom room to the quake area.

yea good times

in 04 i was sitting in florida for the summer Sad which sucks, woulda been nice to meet you guys
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Carnage
On a Rampage!


Joined: 12 Mar 2005

PostPosted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 1:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I didn't know Thunder, but Toke's post is heart wrenching... I almost teared up.


:-/
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[NewB]LiNk
God like!


Joined: 25 Aug 2005
Location: Mexico City, Mexico

PostPosted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 3:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mr. Niv Guevara:

Sorry if sometime i bothered you, I didn't knew you have to pass for that pain heh...

I post this to apologize myself for the "harrasement" i've been doing a lot of time (tho... for those who know me, they know i am just joking around).

I'm really sorry if sometimes i offend you, sometimes I'm so blind on that aspect ^^U but anyway, reading this i don't want to bother someone i don't know.
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niv
Unstoppable!


Joined: 07 May 2005
Location: Bay Area, California

PostPosted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 12:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ganja wrote:
I remeber dylan...

too many damn good stories to go into, but since lans came up..

in 04 dylan and me drove down to louisiana to raston, to see our good freind xoap, some of u older player should remeber him. that was one of the best trips of my life, a roadtrip, doom, girls, pot, etc an all around damn good time we lost tokes brand new front clip of his body kit (bumper) half way down there cause i hit a racoon and it just riped off and got stuck under the car, and my computer got trashed cuase i droped it when i was drunk and moving from the doom room to the quake area.

yea good times


Ganja, hey buddy.

I remember when you, toke and xoap were gonna take a trip down here to AZ to hang out.. unfortunately it never panned out for logistical reasons, but man, imagine the fun we would have had. Maybe that's what heaven is -- getting to do all the fun things you missed out on in life. And reliving the ones you did.
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niv
Unstoppable!


Joined: 07 May 2005
Location: Bay Area, California

PostPosted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 12:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

[NewB]LiNk wrote:
Mr. Niv Guevara:

Sorry if sometime i bothered you, I didn't knew you have to pass for that pain heh...

I post this to apologize myself for the "harrasement" i've been doing a lot of time (tho... for those who know me, they know i am just joking around).

I'm really sorry if sometimes i offend you, sometimes I'm so blind on that aspect ^^U but anyway, reading this i don't want to bother someone i don't know.


Heya, Don't worry about it.
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